We went Kayaking yesterday afternoon.It's an interesting sport , and we have an wonderful time .
I'm in group with Wen . We are the first time to kayaking , so we paddled terribly. We started first but 5 minutes later we became the last one . Kayak often got into the reeds and when we tried our best to paddle it away from the reeds it got into the reeds in the other side . Sometimes we came across others then we took photos for each other.
When I went on shore , I felt exhausted and excited. The most important thing during kayaking is I learn how to cooperation. At first Wen and I can't keep a balance when we boat different rim of kayak .So it's difficult to make it go forward . After we found the rhythm to row ,we became quickly . We need cooperation because we are a group~
Hi! You have a strong cohesive paragraph here. Your ideas are clear and interesting. You used feeling and sense words so I knew exactly what you mean. You also use many great prepositions. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHere are some points to consider:
1. We went kayaking...(You don't need "to" here.)
2. ...so we boat terrible...(I think the verb you want is 'to paddle'. We paddled terribly. ..we tried our best to paddle away from the reeds...)
3. The reeds (Use the article and plural)
Grade = 97
I have changed them and the tense which I think it's wrong
ReplyDelete